Psalm 139

 ¹ You have searched me, LORD, 

   and you know me.
² You know when I sit and when I rise;
   you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
   you are familiar with all my ways.
⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
   you, LORD, know it completely.
⁵ You hem me in behind and before,
   and you lay your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
   too lofty for me to attain.

 ⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
   Where can I flee from your presence?
⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
   if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
   if I settle on the far side of the sea,
¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
   your right hand will hold me fast.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
   and the light become night around me,”
¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;
   the night will shine like the day,
   for darkness is as light to you.

 ¹³ For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place,
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be.
¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts,God!
   How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them,
   they would outnumber the grains of sand—
   when I awake, I am still with you.

 ¹⁹ If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
   Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
²⁰ They speak of you with evil intent;
   your adversaries misuse your name.
²¹ Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD,
   and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
²² I have nothing but hatred for them;
   I count them my enemies.
²³ Search me, God, and know my heart;
   test me and know my anxious thoughts.
²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
   and lead me in the way everlasting.

I Just Don't Understand

Why is life so hard sometimes? I just don't understand why people you look up to always end up disappointing you, and why right when you think your back on track with things, everything seems to flip upside down. I don't understand what God is trying to teach me through all of this, have faith?, well I have been having faith and things go good, and I see God using me, and then all of a sudden, I get pulled away from all of those things God is using me in. I just don't understand why when I am doing something good, something to bring Glory to God, I get pulled away from it. Why when I work really hard to save up a lot, does He change his mind on where He wants me to be. I just don't understand why life seems so difficult right now and why I just feel useless and sad. How does a girl trust that God has a plan, when all she sees is everything in her life falling apart? How does a girl keep her faith when everything seems so wrong and confusing? Guess I'll just wait for God to show up and show me why; Cause right now, I just don't understand.

God should be the only opinion that matters!

Why do woman care so much about what other people think? Its so annoying! Even me, I always say I don't care what others think about me, but then why do I dress thinking about if people will judge me if I wear something different, or go a day without make up? Its just so hard, I want to just say that I don't care what others think about me and I only try to impress God, but I know that's not true; but I want it to be true! That is why I am making the decision tonight, to try and instead of thinking about what other people think, i'm going to ask myself will what I wear and what I do Glorify God? Maybe if we start asking what God will think, then maybe what other people think won't matter.

Starting Over

Starting over can be hard, really hard. And I guess I'm not completely starting over, just starting school again after taking a semester off; and i'm going to a community college and not at Indiana Wesleyan, so for me, its kinda like a new step in my life. I'm nervous, but I know that God has a plan to use me while I'm home and at a new college. I know He has a plan for this new step in my life. I've also made some changes in my life lately that is making me take a few steps back, but those steps back are steps toward a new me, steps that is leading me to becoming a better woman completely sold out for God. And so, those step backwards, are steps just leading me to a better path I guess you can say. So I guess Starting Over or changes in life are scary, but they are also exciting, because you never know how God can use you in what seems the scariest changes in our life, so instead of asking God to help you not to be scared, just tell Him that you trust that what Hes doing is good, and ask him to use you where ever He leads you!

Remember: He Always Has A Plan!